The following conversation happened today with my friend/co-worker Jason. It made me giggle so I had to share. He's had a cold/sinus thing going on for awhile and had gone to the doctor before but was still not feeling well. I got the following email today.
Jason: FYI, dr appt, will be out of office from 11am-1pm
Me: I hope they FINALLY get you all fixed up and you get to feeling better.
Jason: Thank you! Of course now that I have an appt scheduled I'm actually already feeling better today... but they still better give me something, antibiotic or whatever.
Me: Isn't that always the way? But YES...insist on blood work and cultures so they can find out what is ACTUALLY wrong!!!!!
Jason: Oh I will! Demanding a CAT scan, MRI, biopsy, CBC, extra x-rays, EKG, strep test, and an autopsy for good measure.
Me: Don't forget the mammogram, pregnancy test, and full fluoroscopy of your digestive system.
Jason: Definitely. But I think a upper gastrointestinal endoscopy might be in order. And a full set of toxicology tests, someone may have drugged me. Tuning fork test too. I am going to decline the proctoscopy.
Me: Of course. Better safe than sorry. I know insurance doesn't usually cover it, but a full phrenology exam may be in order as well. It might provide some good info.
Later, when he got back to the office:
Me: How did it go? When are you getting fitted for your plastic bubble?
Jason: It was pretty good. The pregnancy test was negative, but the autopsy was really painful.
Sometimes working here is really fun.