Saturday, February 5, 2011

Maybe I Need Therapy or Something

I love my band. It's the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Everyone needs fills. That is part of the band. I love reading everyone's success stories how they lose tons of weight after their fills.

This is not easy to admit, but I feel like in some way I am failing every time I need a fill. I know I have mentioned this before and I know in my brain that fills are necessary and a large part of the process.

I can eat a relatively large amount of ANYTHING right now. I had a whole 1/3 pound burger for dinner. I skipped most of the bun, but I did have a few onion rings. I had a pretty big piece of chicken for lunch...and some pasta on the side. I'm satisfied and comfortable after my meals and everything, but I definitely need a fill. No doubt. Can't get full on "bandster" portions right now, even on solid protein, and as a result, am not going to meet my March 1 goal.

I KNOW I need a fill. I KNOW it's the right thing to do and I am most definitely too loose. But I FEEL like I shouldn't need a fill again already.

I have issues.


DiZneDiVa said...

You're doing amazingly... and needing a fill is ok... I never get used to my band. One day it feels tight and the next it's loosey goosey! Weird! Anyway... I didn't think burgers were on the Chicken and Lettuce,Bitch! plan? LOL. I miss you! *M*

Alison said...

I kind of feel the same way, I think that for me years of dieting has completely messed with my head.
You're doing fantastically well.

Shannon said...

its understandable. I know for a while before getting my band I struggled with admitting that I couldn't do it on my own.

Liz - Lizzle - Libby Lou said...

We all have issues. Understandable. Think of your portion sizes you just listed. Now think of what you ate pre-band. And instead of stating you ate too much, you would've been rationalizing that you ate SO MUCH b/c you were "starving" or "hadn't eaten all day", etc. You have made process. And a true, difficult, long journey requires patience and you are MAKING PROGRESS! bE PROUD!!!!

Bonnie said...

I totally know how you feel! I read about others who have great restriction at 5-6-7 ccs and I'm up to 8.2 and still can eat anything. I know some people like when they can eat anything, but not me. If I can eat it, I will eat it. Get your fill and don't feel guilty. Hopefully it will give you the restriction you need.