Monday, April 18, 2011

My Assbone

I just read the following on The World According to Eggface:

A is for Assbone - So I've lost 138 pounds so far and I discovered something. I have bones and they aren't big like I once claimed. I used to say, "I'm big boned" but you know what I'm not they are actually kind of small and jut out. It's been nice getting to know these new protrusions... collarbones, ribs, hips. Well all except one... my assbone. I know the proper term is coccyx but I prefer assbone and it begins with an "A". Well my assbone hurts like hell. I can't find a chair I feel comfortable in. I am constantly shifting from side to side. Fuhgetabout sitting on park benches. How do the skinny bitches do this??

I asked my Dr. about my assbone pain and he said, "Well Michelle you've got a lot less padding there." Well shit 10 years of med school for that answer. He also told me I needed to exercise more and develop my glute muscles and then talked about buying a pillow that looked like a flippin donut. Like being fat I didn't have enough embarrassing moments to last a lifetime now you want me to carry around a donut-shaped ass cushion. Yeah no thanks.


Aha! So it's lack of padding causing my assbone pain. Who knew that was ever anything I had to worry about? Me! Not enough padding!

Guess I'm starting a routine of squats and lunges to build up the assmuscle.

5 comments:

Amanda Kiska said...

LMAO!

Beth Ann said...

I have the exact same problem!! As much as I hate you are dealing with it, I guess it is good to know that it is not uncommon. Maybe that means it will go away!! :)

Cat's Chic Chat said...

Haha! I love the part about carrying the ass cushion around. : )

Nicole said...

haha this is great!

BookNooker said...

great post! and TRUE!