Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Hanging in There

I'm feeling more positive today. Maybe it was the Xanax...I don't know... :-)

I feel like I want a low stress job. I want to go to a job for 8 hours a day, go to school for a couple of hours and pour my real passion into it, and not have to take work home physically or mentally. I'm thinking maybe doing tech support again might be a nice option. I don't want to be in charge of anything in the computer industry, but it's what I know and what I've been doing forever.

However, if it came with a paycheck, I don't think I'd mind being a housewife. I like working out pretty much every day. I like making dinner, and I don't mean whipping up a frozen thing. I made killer meatloaf tonight, and there are plenty of leftovers for our lunches tomorrow.

Sigh. I can dream. I don't think I could really go back to tech support after all these years and I'd probably lose my mind as a housewife.

My darling mother offered to pay off my car and I can pay her back when I'm working again. Talk about a $433 per month load off!

In band related news, I think I can eat just about anything. I had some pasta today (in the form of a Healthy Choice frozen meal) for lunch and it went down with no problem and no hesitation. I had some salad last night - including the lettuce - and it was so delicious that I nearly wept. I LOVE veggies, and I really missed them. Honestly.

I had one very small (tootsie roll sized) piece of chocolate when I was babysitting the other day and it was really yummy, but I swear, I'd rather have the salad.

I think I might be ready for a fill but I'm still not sure. I can't eat all that much at a time and I'm staying satisfied for awhile, and I AM losing weight slowly, but when I hear other bandsters talking about the teeny tiny amounts of food that they can eat, and PBing on chicken, steak, and lettuce, I feel like maybe I should have the same restriction. I do understand rationally that the band is meant to dim appetite (which it's definitely doing) and not cause restriction, but since this is still so new to me, I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is the "right thing".

Just babbling. Thanks for "listening" if you made it this far.


--Hey said...

Supposedly, you are supposed to feel comfortable not necessarily restricted. The main point being: that you are not hungry between your meals... but what do I know. lol. Sounds like you are pretty dang close to being perfect... if you find yourself getting hungry more you probably need another fill.

Steph said...

I've never had a fill. I just ate about 4 ounces of meatloaf and 3/4 cup of roasted veggies. I'm full, but not overly so. I need to stop stressing about this and go by if I stop losing weight. :-) Thanks for the input!

Lacey said...

Some people prefer to be tighter and some looser. I am one of the ones that prefers looser. My sign is if I am getting hungry within about 2 hours of eating a proper band meal (solid protein first). My TOM is here right now and I am a bit tighter and not liking it one bit...LOL...I couldn't eat my cauliflower at lunch!